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Recommended Reading
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
by John Gottman
Simon and Schuster, 1997
ISBN: 0684838656This is one of the most useful, research-based, and insightful books on parenting we have found. Gottman is a professor of psychology at the University of Washington, and author of Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. His extensive work with parents and children based on his deep understanding of the emotions offers a guide throughout the years of parenting. He suggests that "emotion coaching" is they key to raising emotionally intelligent children, and helps parents to understand their parenting style and how to make the most of it. Gottman's five key steps to emotion coaching include (1) becoming aware of the child's emotion, (2) recognizing the emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching; (3) listening empathetically, validating the child's feelings; (4) helping the child find words to label the emotion he is having; and (5) setting limits while exploring strategies to solve the problem at hand. Gottman's book is filled with practical examples of how to deal with different kinds of challenges in healthy ways. In addition to discussing the role of mothers, it also includes discussion of the critical role that fathers play and the importance of a healthy marriage in creating the environment that can help children to develop their potential as fully as possible. This is also an extremely useful book for teachers in providing guidelines for dealing with complex interpersonal challenges they face every day. Also see Gottman's website at www.gottman.com.
Copyright March 2002 New Horizons for Learning, all rights reserved.
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